G'mar Chatima Tova!

The past several years I have found the need to atone my sins in a "vocal" way. By vocal I used to send out a "bulk" email saying, happy new year, please forgive me if I have hurt you (but in more words of course, wishing a happy new year, etc) but nothing personalized about anything specific that had taken place. Now that I have been through many life changes -- things I may or may not be atoning for this go around are much different. Here is the big question - if those that we are seeking forgiveness from are not Jewish, do they take you seriously, or just think Im a weirdo for saying such a thing. Secondly, the things that I am now seeking out to atone for are not "email worthy". I will say they are related to those that may not even slightly understant my religious beliefs. They may think they do, but in fact, have no clue where I may be coming from, as they have not been to a service or been to a sunday school class, or talked to a rabbi to fully understand or even partially understand where I am coming from. Maybe I am still hurt myself from the events that took place, but that's what this is about, right, a clean slate??! So I will now seek atonement. As the year goes on, I have shifted my own mindset and started to atone for little things here and there as the year went on, far before RH or YK services were even a thought in my mind. That being said, I will make a blanket announcement / apology. I will not email anyone or a group of people and seek foregiveness. I will trust that those who want to forgive me or who have been hurt by anything I have said or done in the past year will come to terms with it and open up to me as I am offering the same to all that have done so to me. We are adults now, its time to act like adults now. While I will say I am VERY sorry to anyone I may have hurt or offended in the past year, and do wish you can foregive me. I am deeply and truthfully sorry to anyone that has been hurt in the past year or still remains hurt or upset for any reason what so ever. I will talk to G-D about those things, however. I can say, that I feel responsible and accountable for my own actions and feelings over the past year.

"Yom Kippur is both a somber and celebratory time. These may sound contradictory, but they combine gracefully on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur marks the end of the Ten Days of Repentance, set aside each year for us to affect repentance from our sins of the past year. Our repentance culminates in a day of prayer and fasting. Fasting -- afflicting our bodies -- serves to atone for all those sins toward G-d which have not already been atoned for by other means... Atonement brings about a spiritual cleansing, a cleaning of the slate, and it is this religious experience which makes it a celebratory day, for we are confident in G-d's forgiveness. Our G-d is a merciful and forgiving G-d and sincere repentance is always rewarded with forgiveness."

The heart and meaning of this holiday is for honest self-examination, communication directly with G-d, and commitment to becoming a better person. All of these things I will be participating in, and involving myself in. This holiday is the holiest day of Judaism and allows one the opportunity to rectify past wrongs and face the future with a slate that is wiped completely clean through repentance, fasting, and the prayer during this holiday. For those of you who are in services each year, and for those of you who are just now learning about the holiday, at the end of Yom Kippur, as the sun sets, we hear the shofar blown in services. As these sounds are heard from the shofar and fill the congregation, a feeling comes upon us, a feeling of having been cleansed both by the physical deprivations of fasting on this day, and the certainty that Hashem has granted the longed for atonement.As we approach this sabbath of all sabbaths, I wish you all a G'mar Chatima Tova - May you be sealed in the Book of Life. I again ask for acceptance and forgiveness for anything that may have been said or done to offend you, and will have my own personal reflections as the actual holiday arrives and takes place. Then I will find myself surrounded by wonderful friends to Break the Fast and kick off my clean wiped slate, and wish the same for you all! Wishing you all an easy and meaningful fast, G'mar Chatima Tova!! XOXO

A Meaningful Holiday With the Fam....

Back to reality after a fabulous few days at home for Rosh Hashana ..... sometimes, ok fine, ALL THE TIME holidays just seem that much more special and meaningful when spent with loved ones and family!! It was great to spend some relaxing time at home with my parents before the holiday, then the actual holiday was spent with my Aunt Toby, Uncle Bert, and Uncle Phillip. It was such a great feeling to sit in services and realize all three siblings were in the same room for such a special holiday. Not many times does that happen. I can see my grandfather with a big huge smile on his face now, being so happy and proud to see them all together. After services on Tuesday, we gathered with more family and friends at the Susmans house for a fabulous lunch. It's always fun to get together with our in town family, having grown up in the same city, and within a few miles for all of our childhood, it's always fun to get together for happy occasions. The newest "Susman" cousin, baby Jay Handmacher was there too .... the spotlight was most definitely on him, how could it not be, what an adorable bundle of love. It's so fun getting to see him "grow up". Even though Im not in Mobile too often, I was able to see him in the hospital the day after he was born, a week after he was born, and now at 8.5 weeks. He has already grown up so much, and is SUCH a cutie!! At the end of this post, I will post a few pictures of me and the bundle of love himself! I can't wait to see him again in about another 8 weeks at Thanksgiving, I am sure he will be even bigger and just as cute then!! I held him for quite some time, and just couldn't get enough of him. Dana, feel free to bring Jay to Atlanta, any time you like, he always has a place to stay and play with cousin Amy!! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, wherever it was spent, and were able to find peace and fulfillment in the holiday. I surely was "moved" actually on 2nd day RH at services, during the rabbi's sermon. Moved in a greater way than I could have ever imagined .... while it was emotional, it was all a good thing ..... I will have to elaborate and talk about such things at a later date .... time to cook some dinner and watch my Sunday night TV shows!! Shana Tova! XOXO